Hi September, Hello Birthday Month…

September is hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Where my Libras at? My birthday month is here, and I couldn’t be more grateful to turn a year older. This is a significant birthday for me more like a return to self and I couldn’t be more excited. September marks the onset of autumn in the Northern Hemisphere and spring in the Southern Hemisphere and anyone who knows me knows that these two are my best seasons, I am a spring/autumn girl. I love autumn, leaves changing colour, it’s not too cold but cold enough to be warm and cozy indoors. I love spring, flowers blossoming everywhere and the onset of sunny colourful days.

 

Speaking of flowers blossoming in spring, there was a whole discourse on Twitter the other day about romantic partners gifting flowers or the lack thereof. Which left me wondering if some people’s love of flowers is more social media romance conditioning than an actual love of flowers. Because some people live in houses with backyards, front yards, side yards you name it with nary a flower bush in sight, but they say they love flowers. Real flower lovers with a yard will have a flower bush or two, I have seen flower lovers who live in flats/apartments grow flowers in their balcony. So, do you really love flowers in a romantic gesture kind of way, or has social media conditioned you to love flowers in a romantic gesture kind of way? I do not really care for flowers as a gift romantic or otherwise, I mean there are pretty to look at, but they really are not my thing, I would grow flowers however if I had a yard because they make the yard look pretty, but I wouldn’t be heartbroken if someone didn’t get me flowers no matter the occasion.

 

If anything, I would prefer a useful plant like an aloe vera you know something I can actually use or some herbs, I love fresh herbs, flowers as a gift not so much. Speaking of gifts, I am accepting gifts all month for my birthday so if you want to send me a gift you can do so via my PayPal at bonyolydia@gmail.com.  If you would like to use a different method, please send me a message using the same email address for my details. Thanks everyone and may you have a blessed, bountiful and abundant month.

 

September is BLESSED

September is REAWAKENING

September is SINCERE

September is SOLUTIONS

 

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Be Good August…

 

After an amazing end to June I am sad to report that July was “challenging” to say the least and the worst part is most of it was due to the actions of others. But we move in faith. Here’s to an amazing month of August!!! And once again I am totally in awe of people named after months what do you mean your name is Augusta, Augustina, Augustine, Augustino and so on and so forth. I absolutely love it!

 

August is ABUNDANT

August is BOUNTIFUL

August is AMAZING

August is WONDERFUL

 

 

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No One Is Coming To Save You…

I totally disagree with this rhetoric and roll my eyes every time someone posts it on social media. While I agree that one has to make the ultimate decision to turn things around or change their life for the better people can and must be saved as and when needed. Because you see that person that;

·       Recommends you for a job

·       Lends you their laptop so you can apply for work

·       Shares their internet password with you so you can access the internet and access opportunities

·       Helps you polish your CV/Resume

·       That helped with your job or college application

·       That person that put you on to an opportunity

·       Gives you bus or cab fare to your job interview

·    Offers to coach and prepare you for your interview

·       Offers you a place to stay while you are in between houses

·       Turns up at your door with groceries when you didn’t even know where your next meal will come from

·       Gives you a motivating pep talk

·       That person that promotes the product you are selling

·       That person that speaks your name in rooms you didn’t even know existed

·       That person that gives you a shout out on their platform that leads to more opportunities

All these people are there to save you. There are so many examples that cannot fit here today but someone is absolutely coming to save you.

 

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Come Here July…

 

June was an amazing amazing month. I got to reconnect with two friends that I hadn’t seen in a couple of years… we live on two different continents…met some new friends through them. I travelled to a destination out of the country that I have been wanting to travel to for almost a year literally next door to me but somehow it hadn’t happened, little did I know the Creator had better plans for me in terms of travelling to this destination than I had for myself, and I am glad this trip happened when it did. June was such a wholesome wholesome month for me truly wholesome! I got to kick off a few other items off my bucket list which was great. Thanks to an amazing month, amazing friendships and amazing moments. I am super grateful for June.

 

Heres to an even more amazing July!!!

 

July feels like ABUNDANCE

July feels like HAPPINESS

July feels like CREATIVITY

July feels like REVOLUTION

 

 

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June...

 

Hello June and once again I am absolutely fascinated by people named after months. May was better than April that’s for sure reconnected big time with someone who is a blessing in my life and for that I am grateful. This person means the world to me and all I want for them is all of life’s goodness, the best things life has to offer, may all their dreams come true, may they be blessed beyond measure just like their name. 

 

People who are in denial and like to sweep things under the rug and not address issues...what is the problem how can we help? I don’t understand why you would rather pretend something doesn’t exist instead of accepting what is there what is happening and take steps to either adapt, adjust or remedy the situation. Pretending that it doesn’t happen will not make you immune to it. That is all.

 

June feels like RESET

June feels like HOPE

June feels like RECONNECTION

June feels like OPPORTUNITIES

 

 

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Of Matters Marriage and Culture...

Someone recently had the cultural shock of her life when she was expected to perform certain rituals following an event in the family she was married into. You see this person is from a different tribe so her husband’s culture is more or less foreign to her. She didn’t understand why she was expected to perform these rituals because according to her it was not her culture, to which she was told that as a wife married into the tribe this was expected of her. These events brought up a heated discussion among my networks regarding intertribal, interracial basically intercultural marriages. Some of the comments below...

 

“People should just marry their own to avoid such issues”

 

“If I am expected to perform rituals foreign to me then my husband should also perform my tribe’s rituals”

 

“I now understand why certain cultures are homogenous and enforce who their children marry”

 

“Did she not research the culture into which she was marrying, I mean all this could have been avoided with a bit of research”

 

This is an issue that is becoming more and more prevalent thanks to globalisation which means people are living far away from home and the likelihood of marrying outside of one’s culture is very high, however the majority of the population still marry within their own cultures. You can’t help who you fall in love with but then again marrying for love is a very recent concept and love alone is not enough to hold a marriage together. Differences in culture can make or break a marriage.

 

In my opinion if you are a person for whom upholding your language, your culture and your traditions is of upmost importance then please marry somebody you are culturally aligned to. If these don’t matter to you then by all means marry whoever you want to, but please do due diligence and thoroughly research the culture into which you are marrying understand it, weigh if you can live with or compromise on their traditions and so on and so forth.

 

Research and knowing the traditions of the culture you are marrying into is very important (especially  for my African people) . The story goes about a person from a different tribe who rushed into marriage with a person from a particular region of a certain tribe without doing due diligence. Now the people from this tribe themselves typically do not marry into/from this particular region because their traditions are considered extreme in relation to the other regions of the same tribe. In fact the saying goes among this tribe that “people from that region should just marry each other because they understand their traditions better than the rest of us” in other words let them deal with each other and leave the rest of us alone. Needless to say the marriage did not last very long thanks to the extreme culture shock experienced by the outsider.

 

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May...

 

People named after months fascinate me...what do you mean your name is April, May, June, Julia/Julie/Julio, August/Augusta/Augustine and so on...I find that so fascinating! April was a mixed bag for me, a lot was given back to me and some was taken from me. I experienced the happiest and saddest moments of the year so far in April. But in all I give thanks for that is life full of ups and downs. What I am most grateful for was a calm spirit in the midst of it all, I amazed even myself for the way I reacted to and handled challenging situations. This is definitely growth. I no longer allow things I have no control over to stress me out.

Of Fruits...

I grew up in a medical household and growing up we had to eat a fruit after every meal as per a balanced diet, you could not leave the table without eating a fruit. So once I left home for university I subconsciously rebelled against eating whole fruits, if I wanted an apple I would drink apple juice instead, if I wanted oranges I would drink orange juice instead, and it wasn’t even freshly squeezed juices oh no it was the sugar laden boxed or bottled type most of the time. It hit me almost a year in that I had not eaten whole fruits in months, and that’s when I realised that because we were not allowed to leave the table without eating a fruit, I was subconsciously rebelling against this rule because I was now “free” from childhood mealtime rules.

I “unrebelled” from eating whole fruits after this but I still did not eat them regularly it was more like 2 or 3 times a week and mostly when it was warm, because for some reason during the winter or cold rainy days I never felt like eating fruits. So recently I decided to revisit my childhood mealtime fruit ritual after a certain comment on social media. You see an unregulated  “skincare specialist” was trying to scam people into getting her ridiculously priced injections,  to which a doctor jumped into the comments and debunked her claims and advised people to just eat their fruits regularly to get all the vitamins being advertised as expensive shots.  I went back to intentionally eating fruits every single day regardless of the weather, every day just as I did as a child. And let me tell you my skin has never been clearer I was shocked at the results! I am already a person who drinks water religiously, in fact at one point I was drinking so much water as a child, I remember being taken to the doctors for a series of tests because frequent thirst can be sign of some illnesses, and I have never had a problem eating vegetables in fact I absolutely love my veggies. So I was hydrated, I was eating my veggies but I was lacking in my fruit intake so once I intentionally incorporated them into my diet as part of my daily meal my skin improved tremendously.

All this to say eat your fruits and veggies, stay hydrated with water please not alcohol and your skin will thank you for it.

Anyway here’s to a new month of May.

 

May feels like NEWNESS

May feels like RESET

May feels like GROWTH

May feels like COURAGE

 

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