BLOGMAS - The Bill Splitting Edition!

 

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What are everyone’s thoughts on splitting the bill equally after having a meal in a restaurant with others?  Oh this post is inspired by recurring bill splitting stories on twitter. I have got so many stories on this but I will share just a few...

One time years ago while working retail, a couple of us decided to go out for an impromptu meal after our Sunday shift, there was like 14 or so of us. One of the girls was off that day but lived close to the restaurant we were going to, so we called her up to see if she wanted to come along. By the time she got there our food and drinks had been served and since she was coming from home and had eaten already she decided to have green tea only. So please tell me why when the bill was brought someone who actually saw this girl come in late and order green tea decided that the bill should be split equally among us all! Fam it was chaos this girl protested and some of us joined her in the protest as well, she was like there is no way she is paying 10 times more for what she ordered, no way, finally it was resolved and she paid for what she ordered while the rest of us split the bill equally since everyone else’s meal and drink combo came to pretty much almost the same price give or take a few.

On the other hand....

In another very recent scenario, went out for dinner on a work trip a couple of months ago and one of the colleagues offered to settle the entire bill when it came, since according to her someone else could do the same the next day (we were there for 4 days). I told her I was perfectly ok paying my own bill since, one there was no guarantee that we would all have dinner together the next day, and two even if we did there was no guarantee that the bill would be to the same amount or near to make it equitable not just to her, but to the rest of us as well if her I pay today you pay tomorrow idea was to work. Imagine settling the entire bill on day one with the knowledge that someone else would do the same the next day, only for everyone to go MIA on you. No thanks not happening. In the end we got separate bills as we should have from the beginning. Turns out the waitress had actually asked her while the rest of us were cackling away so we never really heard the question...if we wanted one bill or separate bills...and she asked for one bill. Why lady why?

To be fair if I am with my homegirls or close family/friends then one person settling the bill is not even a problem because we do that all the time and it’s no biggie. I have also been in situations where I have gone out with a group of people and two or three people decide to split up the entire groups bill (despite everyone else’s protest) amongst themselves which is ok too. The difference with this scenario and my colleague is that these people were doing it out of the goodness of their hearts, no expectations whatsoever, while she was doing it in the hopes that someone else would do the same the next day. It doesn’t always quite work out like that lady...

 

My opinion on this -  don’t be that person that orders an entire bottle of wine and lobster while everyone else is drinking juice and eating chicken and expect people to split the bill equally...don’t, just don’t.

 

Blogmas is like Vlogmas but for bloggers. YouTubers put out vlogmas videos everyday in December until the 24^th of December and I blog everyday whenever I can in December and title it BlogmasJ Content creator solidarity you know...it’s sort of like a countdown to Christmas of sorts.

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BLOGMAS - Taking Stock End Year Edition!

 

Shorter version as always...here goes;

COOKING lentil pasta yes it’s a meal.

DRINKING orange squash.

READING Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie don’t know why it took me so long to read it!

WANTING fresh new stuff.

WISHING upon a star.

ENJOYING YouTube videos on this cosy but rainy evening.

WAITING for my tablet to charge.

LIKING  how much I have evolved.

WONDERING whether to go out tomorrow or not it’s a cosy stay at home kinda weather at the moment.

HOPING to have a great shopping trip somewhere new I plan to venture out to.

LOVING on me and mine.

NEEDING to upgrade my tech department.

SMELLING room spray.

WEARING pink pajama shorts and a grey sleep tee...it’s almost bedtime

KNOWING and singing that every little thing is gonna be alright

THINKING about tomorrow.

FEELING great!

 

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Shapewear For All Seasons!!!

 

 

https://www.shapellx.com/collections/plus-shape/products/airslim-open-bust-control-body-shaper

The holidays are just around the corner, the world is slowly opening up and resuming some sort of normalcy and everyone wants to look their best while attending the numerous in person or virtual gatherings or parties that they may be invited to. Whether it’s an office party, a gathering at home with a few friends and family most people would like to step out looking their best. Now as a thick girl, I have slowly over the years cultivated a style and wardrobe that suits my body shape and makes me feel comfortable whatever I wear. However, every now and then I wear certain outfits that may require wearing Plus size shapewear that gives me an aesthetically pleasing silhouette and smooth outline that does justice to the outfit.

https://www.shapellx.com/collections/waist-trainer/products/neosweat-sport-vest-with-triple-belts

Nowadays there are plenty of stores online and on the high street that stocks all types of waist trainers. It could be waist trainers aimed at losing weight, to be worn while working out or simply to wear under certain outfits. I particularly gravitate towards stores that specifically deal in waist trainer for women because I feel that they have gone the extra mile to tailor their waist trainers to specifically accommodate the needs of their female customers. These stores in my opinion stock shape wear that can be worn safely for longer, which is what I as a customer is looking for. Shapellx is one such online store that has luxurious durable products designed by women for women of all ages, sizes and shapes.

https://www.shapellx.com/collections/plus-shape/products/neosweat-exclusive-3-in-1-workout-mix

If you have been searching for affordable and good quality body shapers well your search may well be over, you can get great Black Friday waist trainer deals to suit all your upcoming holiday waist training needs. Shapellx has an array of fashionable and functional shape wear to choose from whether it’s a full body shaper, bodysuits, active wear, firm control compression shapers, designed to offer comfort. They offer amazing deals on their website and free exchanges and returns within 60 days if you are not satisfied with your purchase. Head on over to the website at Shapellx.com today or click the links in bold to check out their amazing product line for all you gorgeous, confident queens out there.

 

https://www.shapellx.com/collections/plus-shape/products/neosweat-workout-fitness-shorts-crop-tops-suit

Keep Hydrating with KEEPTO!

Imagine dashing to get the train on a freezing winter morning, looking forward to getting onto a carriage and drink the hot lemon, ginger, honey water that you have in your water bottle to keep you warm. Only to get on the train and your water is lukewarm! Worse still cold! Now imagine the reverse, it’s a hot summers day and you are out and about running errands and need to sit down for a minute and cool down with nice sip of the  cold almost freezing water you have in your water bottle, only to end up sipping something that is somewhere near room temperature water! I can’t think of anything more disappointing than having to drink room temperature water under the hot sun when what you really wanted was a cold, cold drink of water.

Well worry no more…introducing KEEPTO water bottles that protect the temperature of your water thanks to their double-walled vacuum insulated feature. There are several water bottles to choose from. There is the 64oz water bottle that has a handle making it ergonomical and portable.

Up next is the 32oz water bottle that is lightweight, stylish and helps you track your daily water intake with its time tracker feature on the bottle. This is a particularly good water bottle for the up and about person who doesn’t want too much baggage but wants to stay hydrated. The size of the bottle makes it easier to store in your bag or back pack and take with you to work or your daily errands.

Now, we all need a little push every now and then. I have to admit that I need probing to get things done sometimes when I am not really feeling like doing them and what better way to get motivated than with motivational quotes. Kind of like my own personal cheering squad urging me to keep on keeping on. KEEPTO gallon water bottle is a 128oz water bottle with motivational quotes alongside a time tracker that not only keeps you hydrated but also motivated. This trendy water bottle comes with a removable straw and brush as well. This bottle is perfect for at home use or to keep in your car due to its size.  If the 128oz motivational water bottle is too big for but you still need to stay motivated, worry not for it also comes in a smaller 64oz size with the same motivational quotes with a durable carry strap, brush and silicone straw to allow for spill free sipping.

All bottles come in stylish colours that are pleasing to the eye. Stay hydrated with KEEPTO water bottles, shop here.

 

BLACK HAIR STYLIST STRUGGLE?

The other day on twitter someone asked for recommendations for black stylists in the Boston, (USA) area. She got a ton of comments with recommendations and people sharing their struggle trying to find stylists in non black majority areas. One of those comments screenshot below caught my attention because it made no sense whatsoever, well at least to me it didn’t. 

I am actually grateful to this comment for inspiring this post:)

I was like sis what Europe are you talking about, is it the same Europe I know or a different Europe? Or was this the usual American generalisation of Europe you know “I am going to Europe” “I live in Europe” etc instead of being country specific. I had to jump in and comment because that did not make sense to me at all. You can find a black stylist professional or otherwise in the smallest of towns at least in Western Europe if you look hard enough. I mean there are black stylists in Seoul, South Korea! South Korea, a historically homogenous country! Not to talk of Europe with its millions of decades long black residents. There are entire streets in London and Paris (in my experience) where you will find a black salon and a black beauty supply store every two steps you take. Some of these streets actually have people out on the pavement soliciting for clients for their salons. I mean we are in 2021 not 1921, it doesn’t make sense to fly all the way across the Atlantic to get your hair done, that is one pricey hair appointment. I mean even if one lives in an Eastern European country, it is cheaper to fly or take the train whichever gets you there quicker, to London, Paris, Brussels and even Amsterdam I believe, where you can get a same day service at a walk in salon than flying back to the US.  And you get to visit another country in Europe in the process, so that’s a win win two birds one stone kind of situation. Some Eastern European countries like Ukraine and Russia have African students studying there, some who do hair on the side for extra income. FYI Africans have been studying in Eastern Europe for decades (my half Nigerian half Slovakian bestie’s parents met in Prague as students in the late 60s/early70s) so I am sure there will be a descendant, maybe two or a new arrival who can do hair in some parts of Eastern Europe, especially the capital cities. 

Even in Western European small towns and villages with seemingly hardly any black populations, there’s probably someone who can do black hair or knows someone who can do black hair, it may be an informal home service or an instagram stylist but it is quite possible to find someone there or the next town over if you are proactive enough in your search.  I have a friend who moved to a small town in Germany over 20 years ago, back then black girls in small towns would sometimes have to travel to major multi-ethnic cities to braid their hair and usually through word of mouth recommendations. These days it is much easier to find someone who lives in the same small 99% Caucasian populated town as her, who does home service hair braiding appointments. If there is one thing black people have anywhere in the world, it is a strong informal network of service providers to suit our black needs be it hair, food etc. Use the resources at your disposal, we have social media these days unlike back in the day, ask for recommendations online, use the search engines available to your advantage, Europe is heaving with black people who can do hair. That brother you saw at the mall in Iceland, where you were the only two black people in the entire 100 floor mall, could have a sister, girlfriend, cousin, wife, mother, auntie, colleague, or friend who does hair or knows someone who can do hair or even know how to do hair himself. That friendly Swedish shopkeeper in small town Sweden, who owns the corner store down the road where you buy your groceries, could have one other regular black customer he could ask on your behalf, could know of another small town 30 minutes away, with a much larger black population that you the new comer had no idea existed and surprise surprise could even have a black spouse or grandchildren that he could ask on your behalf. You would be surprised the kinds of networks people have. It could be something as random as the owner of the nail shop where you get your nails done, having a son, that works in a factory with a guy from Ghana, and BOOM one thing leads to another and you’ve got your black hair stylist problem in some random Polish city solved! Be proactive in your search.

One of the recurring comments that really hit home for me on that thread was “go where our people are”. I whole heartedly agree. Find our people and you will find a black hair stylist anywhere in the world.

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MID MAY MONDAY MUSINGS!

 

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Happy mid May! It’s crazy how the days are flying by these days it’s like no sooner has the month started than it’s ending already! Crazy! Anyway just thought I should share some random thoughts going through my head this Monday...

It’s funny how something I grew up eating while sitting underneath my grandmother’s mango tree is now a “thing”...enters Avocado Toast! I come from an avocado growing and exporting country, they are literally found growing any and everywhere in the avocado growing regions, everyone’s compound will most certainly have an avocado tree or three in these regions, it’s so commonplace it accompanies our bread, our meals, our fruit salads, you just name it and we can eat it with an avocado in it or on the side. My avocado privilege means I find it funny even ridiculous at times how this regular fruit is now a “thing”. Wait until I tell you of the many afternoons we spent splitting open macadamia nut shells with little stones to get to the nuts inside during macadamia nut season...or maybe I will wait until macadamia nuts become a “thing”.

Something else that makes me laugh is how English speaking corporations borrow words from other languages and turns them into something else. Let’s take the Italian word for milk “latte” for example if there ever was a word that is overused in coffee chains this has got to be it. Don’t get me started on “chai” which is Persian/Indian in origin but also claimed by Kiswahili (by way of Persia/India thanks to trade, migration and colonialization) which is now almost something considered a “fancy” drink. Everyone and their grandmother wants to be seen drinking or heard ordering a chai tea latte. Chai literally means tea so saying “Chai Tea” is somehow redundant don’t you think? Some people will visit some other part of the world (East Africa, India, Persia etc) where drinking good old regular chai is commonplace and it’s actually called chai and start saying but this isn’t chai tea because it hasn’t been made in the same way as “gentrified” by your favourite coffee chain. And then there are those that open a Bistro and charge prices on the menu that are in competition with five star restaurants. The word Bistro literally means a small inexpensive restaurant. I could go on and on but that’s it for today’s musings my brain is exhausted.

Oh I almost forgot I got caught in a downpour the other day and got drenched from top to bottom, yep serves me right for leaving my umbrella at home despite the rain forecast. As I was drying up later when I got home I noticed my hair was extra soft turns out that whole thing about rain water being good for your hair is actually true. I could immediately feel the difference in the softness of my hair after being soaked in rain water. I am so tempted to collect some next time it rains and use it on wash day!

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Rice! Around The World!

I recently embarked on a culinary Sunday dinner journey around the world! For several weeks, I made one pot rice dishes from around the world. Why rice? Rice is the most common base for one pot meals around the world, so it was easier to find recipes that revolved around it. Thanks to YouTube I was able to recreate these recipes some slightly altered to suit the ingredients available locally and to suit my palate while some stayed true to their authentic selves.

So in no particular order I present to you;

Trinidadian Pelau

This is I had heard of several times (my heart lives in the Caribbean), watched several YouTube videos on how to make it but somehow never got round to making it until now. I really liked this pelau maybe because it has coconut milk and I love anything with coconut milk in it. For me this dish felt like the offspring of Caribbean rice and peas and Latin American Arroz con Pollo/Galinhada in terms of the ingredients used. This comparison is also the reason why Arroz con Pollo/Galinhada did not make this list, because minus the sugar and coconut milk used in the Trinidadian Pelau, they are more or less the same dish (one pot chicken and rice). Several Youtubers I watched used Worcestershire sauce or browning in their versions of Trinidadian pelau (and that is absolutely ok to do) but I chose to omit them, one because I am sure their ancestors did not use these condiments and two the sugar caramelized enough to brown the dish to my satisfaction. Would I make it again? Definitely, most definitely.

Afghani Pulao/Uzbeki Pulao

This I have had once before at a previous job when an Afghani colleague brought it in for a pot luck day. So good so so good and quite easy for me to make since I already know how to cook East African Pilau which I must say is a cousin to the Afghani Pilau because they are both one pot rice and meat pilau dishes that use pilau masala. The main ingredients are meat (usually mutton from what I gathered in my research) but it is totally fine to use the meat that suits your needs or is easily available/affordable and local to you, rice, carrots and raisins. Now for this I will include the YouTube videos of the particular recipes that I borrowed from by Afghani chefs/Youtubers. I do this because while scouring YouTube for this recipe I came across so many non Afghani’s who have their own version of this recipe which is totally fine, but most of them had so many extra ingredients that were found nowhere in the videos of the Afghani chefs that I watched. One guy had like six extra ingredients, green vegetables and herbs included which did not feature in any of the Afghani recipes I watched. So I decided to stick to the natives of the dish to make it as authentic as possible. A great tip is to try and watch street videos of whatever recipe you are looking for, shot in the country of the dish’s origin; you can hardly go wrong with street recipes, hardly. I loved the sweetness of the raisins and carrots mixed with the pilau spices so good! This has become a staple.  For recipes that I used click here and here.

Benachin (Gambia) Thieboudienne (Senegal)

This I have made several times over ever since I discovered it years ago, it’s my best jollof yet (sorry Nigerians and Ghanaians), I absolutely love it and is a staple for me. It’s literally the same dish with different names in Senegal and Gambia. From what I noticed on the YouTube videos I watched the Gambians tended to make the meat/chicken version and the Senegalese YouTubers I watched all made the fish version.

Spanish Paella

This was a last minute decision I originally wanted to make jambalaya which I have made before but figured I may as well make its cousin paella instead. Also the most expensive dish on this list because seafood don’t come cheap when you don’t live by the seaside and also because it calls for saffron which costs an arm, a leg and a small kidney, but thankfully we are allowed to substitute so I used turmeric instead of saffron to give it its bright colour. I actually used a street vendor’s recipe from a documentary on Spain and its culture I just happened to be watching, which if I am being honest contributed to my decision to go for Paella instead of jambalaya. Besides I am currently learning Spanish so it just made sense to go with paella instead.

Kenyan Pilau

This is native to me, well by way of Indian/Persian migrants but we adopted it in East Africa and made it our own. A staple at any Kenyan/East African event be it weddings, funerals, birthday parties etc you name it there will definitely be pilau on the menu. This dish had to be included because well as you know charity begins at home and what not.

Kenyan Pilau is eaten with kachumbari a chopped tomato, red onion, coriander and lemon juice salad

My Special Loaded Veggie Mix

This is a bonus addition for all my vegetarians out there. It's a mix of cauliflower, broccoli, corn, beans, carrots, onions, yellow and red bell peppers sautéed with some garam masala, steamed and then the preboiled rice added last.

 

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